The Rules According to the Pirate
In the hallway at school:
Mommy: Who is the boss?
Pirate: You are?
Mommy: But who’s the boss at school?
Pirate: I am!
At breakfast this morning:
Princess: Mommy, we’re forgetting something.
Mommy: Yes, Daddy’s on his way to the table now.
Princess: Yes, but we’re forgetting something else.
Mommy: What?
Princess: To say our prayers!
Mommy: Oh, you’re right! How did I forget that?
Pirate: I don’t have to say any prayers. I ate already!
In the kids’ room:
Princess: Mommy, D. just said that she is going to whip my butt?
Mommy: D., get in here right now!
Pirate: Yes, Mommy?
Mommy: Did you just tell M. that you were going to whip her butt?
Pirate: Yes.
Mommy: We don’t talk to each other like that! Do you hear me?
Pirate: Okay, okay. I’m going to whip your behind, Sister.
In the parking lot at Target:
Mommy: What are the rules for how we act in a store?
Princess: We have to listen and behave.
Pirate: And no punching strangers!
In the bathroom at home:
Mommy: Get back in there, Pirate, and wash those hands.
Pirate: But I didn’t pee on them!
In the kids’ room:
Mommy: What’s wrong?
Princess: D. spit on me!
Mommy: Are you kidding me, D.? We don’t spit on people! That’s nasty and mean!
Pirate: But what if she’s on fire?
Memos from the Middle 
love their way of thinking
Me too! 🙂
Can’t help but love her! My niece is so smart and loving and mischievous lol!
Truer words have rarely been spoken!
I love these conversations we have with our kids. They are so much funnier and honest than us!
Yes, they are! They make me remember innocence in such a cynical, mean world.