Genesis 4:3-7
The graduates gathered in small clusters, waiting for the procession to begin. We fussed with our hair or adjusted our gowns while we chatted casually. For many of us, it was our first in-person meeting because we’d done our programs online. While we were crossing a finish line together, we were mostly strangers, using those moments before our solemn march to share lifetimes.
“I used to be a Mormon,” one lady confessed.
“I’m moving to Tennessee tomorrow,” another said.
I sat with a polite smile, but secretly I was trying to stamp down envy. So many had on honors cords, while I had none.
“I wonder what GPA they got to get a cord,” the Tennessee woman whispered to me. Hearing her voice my own thoughts made me self-conscious.
“I was thinking the same thing,” I said.
Twenty years had passed between my first and second master’s degrees. This time around, I was balancing marriage, children, a full-time job, and church responsibilities. I wanted straight A’s, but the term I decided to take four classes instead of two — so I could graduate on time — was the one with those B’s.
“But when I think about all I had to do to finish this degree and earn a 3.6, cord or no cord, I am an honor student,” I said.
I listened as the Tennessee woman recounted her own grad school journey, and I felt not only a sense of camaraderie but also a sense of peace. I had done the best I could as a wife, mom, employee, teacher, and student for three years. Remembering that lifted my spirit, and I allowed myself to enjoy the moment, feeling appreciative and accomplished rather than jealous.
After man’s fall, the first family still had a relationship with God. Eve, perhaps thinking that Cain was the promised “seed” of Genesis 3:15, acknowledged God’s help with the birth of her first son (Gen. 4:1). Cain and his brother Abel even knew enough to bring offerings to God. But Cain became angry when God “had regard for Abel and for his offering” but not for Cain and his offering (Gen. 4:4-5). Have you ever been there, Friend? Have you seen God favor someone else while you were left out? Have you ever gotten angry because you felt overlooked or overshadowed?
The biblical record shows us exactly why Abel’s offering was accepted: he “brought the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions” (Gen. 4). Abel’s offering spoke of his regard for God. Abel put God first and gave God his best. No such description accompanied Cain’s offering. God’s acceptance had nothing to do with the fact that Abel was a shepherd and Cain was a farmer. Vocation does not make one more or less acceptable to God. Acceptance had nothing to do with Abel being the baby boy or any other contrived difference. Instead, Abel’s response to God distinguished his offering from his brother’s. Abel gave the first and best of his flock because of his love and respect for God. Cain seemingly gave out of obligation.
It’s so easy to go through the motions, Friend. We say what we’re supposed to say. We do what we’re supposed to do. But when our worship skews toward obligation instead of a faithful, heartfelt relationship with and responsiveness to God, it isn’t pleasing to Him. God doesn’t want us to check boxes. He wants us to obey because we choose intimacy with Him above all else.
God appealed to Cain before his anger devolved into sin. He invited Cain to reflect and repent.
#1–The Invitation to Reflect
God asked Cain, “Why are you angry?” (Gen. 4:6). When God questions us, He isn’t doing so because he lacks information. He’s still the omniscient God. Instead, He wants us to carefully consider so that we come into full understanding for ourselves. He wants us to inspect our roots to see the real cause of our feelings or behavior. The invitation to reflect is an invitation to pause and do some soul searching. “Why are you angry?” pushes you beyond the surface to the heart of the matter, and an honest answer is the first step in moving from emotions to rational responses.
Why are you angry?
- I never learned how to handle disappointment.
- I want the reward without the work.
- I held an unrealistic, unhealthy expectation.
- I expect people to respect boundaries I never established.
- It’s easier to be angry than to do the hard work of changing.
God then asked Cain, “And why has your countenance fallen?” (Gen. 4:6). Here, God pointed out to Cain that his outward appearance had changed, reflecting his inner turmoil. He was brooding, displaying his anger and disappointment. This was not just an internal feeling. It became an external expression of what was inside.
Do you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve? Are you easily swayed by whatever emotion you are feeling? We are not called to perpetual stoicism, but we are cautioned against unchecked emotion. We are to master our feelings, not be mastered by them. Again, reflection is key. How we show up in the world matters to God. When our countenance belies our identity as God’s children, we must change.
When our anger or sullenness becomes our displayed face, we should consider the motive. Are we trying to manipulate people into giving us what we want, or are we simply lacking self-control? Could both be true? I’ve been guilty of a well-formed pout or silent treatment in my day, and never once has it been godly.
#2–Invitation to Repent
God then gave Cain some advice in the form of a rhetorical question: “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up?” (Gen. 4:7). Doing the right thing won’t always result in easy days or the good life. But we will find peace.
When I was in high school, I got a D in chemistry one term. My father asked me, “Do I need to stand in line to talk to this teacher?” Although the teacher was biased toward certain students, I did not do my best. I had not given all I could to earn better grades. And as bad as that teacher was, I knew that was no excuse to my father who had high expectations of me regardless of what others were doing. Our Father in heaven has high expectations for us, too. I knew that if I had my dad stand in that line only to hear from that teacher all I had not done, things would not work out well for me. And one day in the future, I will have to stand before my Heavenly Father, and I want His forgiveness and acceptance rather than His judgment.
“If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up?” We can hold our heads high–not in haughtiness, but in peaceful assurance–when we work “as for the Lord” in all things (Col. 3:23). God’s question lets us know that Cain had not done well. He had taken a shortcut or undervalued God. Feeling better, showing up better, was as close as a decision to repent. We can turn to Him as well, no matter how selfish or sinful we have been. Our countenance will be lifted up by faith if we choose to trust Him.
Then God went a step further. He warned Cain, “And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it” (Gen. 4:7). Choosing to reduce God to any position other than first in our lives, choosing to withhold our best from Him, is the same as giving way to sin. Moses personifies sin as “crouching at the door.” It lies in wait. It pounces on us to overtake us when an opportunity arises. It doesn’t announce it’s destructive power. It doesn’t delineate exactly how it will ruin us. It ambushes us. It wants to utterly consume us.
Still, Cain had a choice. He could either turn from his current course, mastering sin, or he could continue and be mastered by it. We have the same choice: repent or be consumed.
Friend, I know you know the choice Cain made, but that doesn’t have to be our choice. We can accept God’s invitation to reflect honestly and repent wholeheartedly. God does not expect our perfection, but He does want us to be perfected by faith. Will you accept His invitation?
Memos from the Middle 