Memos from the Middle

God’s Second Princess

 

 

It’s been a long week. I mean, really long. So when I lay across my bed eating my way to food heaven with way too many calories from McDonald’s, I didn’t notice the Princess climb up stealthily next to me.

“I have a good idea, Mommy.”

“You do, Sweetie?” I said, choking down a bite much too large to swallow easily.

“Yeah,” excitedly fell from her lips, and a big smile stretched across her face.

“All right, Miss Idea. Let’s hear it.”

“I think God should make me again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she said the way kids do when they realize they’re much smarter than you are, “God should make another one of me.”

“So you want God to make you again?” I questioned not really understanding what she wanted.

“Yes, but not me like I am now, but the me before I lived here.”

Still lost, I probed more: “What do you mean? You’ve always lived here.”

“I mean before I was your baby.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling like we were finally getting somewhere, “You want God to make another you so that you can grow up again.”

“Yes, but I still want to be four, too.”

“But why do you want two of you?”

“Because D. is my little sister, but she’s big like me, and I want to be the big, big sister.”

“Oh, so you’re feeling a big strange because your little sister is the same size you are?”

“Yes, Mommy.” She sighed, gratified that I was starting comprehend the magnitude of her inspired thoughts.

“But there’s nothing wrong with her being the same size is there?”

“Yes, there is, Mommy!” she replied a bit more emphatically than I had expected.

“What’s the problem, Princess?”

“She eats too much candy! If God makes two of me, I can have more!”

Now the idea made perfect sense to me.

“Oh, and Mommy?”

“Yes, Sweetie?”

“If God made two of me, I can be in my baby class and kindergarten. That would be really fun, too!”

“Yes, I’m sure it would be.”

“You think God will do it?”

“Well, no, Sweetie.”

“Why not?”

“Because he already made you once, and you’re pretty fabulous just the way you are.”

“I love you, Mommy.”

“I love you, too, Princess.” I took a big bite out of my chilled burger.

“Mommy, can I have some candy?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Can I have two pieces and D. have only one?”

“No, baby.”

“Oh, man,” she groaned, placing the palm of her right hand dramatically on her forehead.

Handing her two pieces of candy, one for her and one for her sister, I said, “That was a pretty interesting idea you had, Princess.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t work!” I kissed her on the forehead and watched her run toward the front of the house.

How did she come up with that one? I thought.