Memos from the Middle

Smack-Dab in the Middle of Living

Do you ever smile, Victoria?

I know. You were waiting with bated breath for a musical featuring songs by the Spice Girls, right? You were hoping that when that theatrical production hit the stage you were still able to “tell [me] what [you] want, what [you] really, really want,” dressed as some rave-tastic superhero, right? Most importantly, though, you were hoping that the news of the show would finally force Victoria Beckham to let out a silly, ear-to-ear, 32-toofus grin, right?

Seriously, this doesn’t make you want to smile a big ol’ toothy grin, Vicky? (from


Remember: They taught us to “Never trust a big butt and a smile” (from

What the hell, V.B.! They’re not writing plays featuring the musical stylings of Bel-Biv-Devoe (although I would totally enjoy and rock out to that one because “That girl is poison! “). At least they had the whole 1990s R&B group street-cred thing keeping them from smiling. What is wrong with you, girl? Show some enthusiasm, damn! I didn’t think that people missed the Spice Girls enough to even want to hear that music on the radio let alone buy a ticket to a stage production with your music interspersed during the 2 hour show.

Do us all a favor and act like you’re happy and give a real smile! It’s okay. We won’t stone you.

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