Some things are just wrong. No matter how much apologizing or gift giving he does, a man just shouldn’t let certain things hang bare for the world to see. And when he does, women everywhere breathe a collective sigh of disappointment and general appal. I’ve had the unpleasant opportunity of witnessing some rather shocking male behavior over the last week, and I can say that the combination of offenses has caused me to question the tact and overall home training of some of the guys with whom I’ve shared space. Please, gentlemen, avoid the following pitfalls at all cost while you exercise.
Wearing short shorts: There is absolutely no reason for your upper thighs to be visible to the world. Yes, exercising is great, but must you really jog in a 13-year-old cheerleader’s gym uniform? I think not. In fact, a few extra inches of short couldn’t possibly get in the way of your perfect jogging form. Please, just let these shorts die the death they started to die when the NBA gave them up years ago.
Putting your ugly feet in man sandals: Man sandals are a little strange, but I have absolutely no problem with socks in sandals if your feet look like you’ve been running barefoot over granite outcroppings for the last 15 years. Obviously, a nice pair of sneakers would be better, for how could you really work up a sweat in those “mandals,” but I’d take the unfashionably awkward sock in flip-flop look if it’ll keep me from insisting you see a doctor for the gangrene that is apparently eating away at your toes. That’s just gross!