Memos from the Middle

Smack-Dab in the Middle of Living

Working Out

So yeah…the last time I posted (or probably the second to the last time), I began a squat challenge. That shit fitness challenge lasted a grand total of 5 days. Why? Because it’s hard as hell doing squats when you haven’t seriously worked out since before your freshman 15!

I tried, for real, but I just couldn’t do it. Then a couple weeks ago, I decided that if I really wanted to feel better (not necessarily about myself, but physically feel better) I needed to add some sort of exercise to my daily routine. Plus not being that active after my hysterectomy meant that all my clothes were shrunk by Rick Moranis when I wasn’t looking. When your panties feel like rubber bands around your waist and thighs, you’ve let things go way too far! That, dear reader, was when I decided, yes, me, the one who HATES to sweat, that I would start doing something, ANYTHING, to increase my level of fitness.

As I drove to work one morning, I noticed the number of elderly women walking around various schools and tracks that pepper my commute. “Damn, if Miss Daisy,” I thought, “can get out here every day, why can’t I?” My excuse laden mind responded, “I have work to do and kids to play with and ice cream to eat.” (Did I just put ice cream in my list of reasons why I couldn’t exercise?) “I just really don’t have the time! I am tired all the time, and adding one more thing to my plate will just be too much. I might like die or something if I workout!”

Ok, Marilyn, it’s time to stop making excuses and do it! I woke up the Princess, always ready to hang out with Mommy, and asked her if she wanted to go to the track with me. She eagerly agreed and jumped out of bed. Now on to the Diva. “No, Mommy, it’s too early,” and covers dramatically made her head disappear. “1 mile,” I say half convinced, half petrified. “Just walk one mile.”

The Princess in all her nine-year-old glory stayed with me a grand total of a quarter mile before she realized that my fat ass pace was too slow for her. Watching her jog away from me around the track gave me some time to think, really think. Oh my God, is this thing called fresh air really this invigorating? Look at that sun rise! Yes, that’s the answer to world peace!

Ok, so maybe my thoughts weren’t really that earth shattering or mind blowing, but my head certainly felt clearer, and because I survived the mile, I wasn’t so reluctant to try it again the next day and the next day and the next day…

Can you believe it? I have done some sort of physical activity (purely for the sake of my own physical fitness) for 10 days in a row! Now to those of you gym rats out there, I know you’re probably smugly reading this from your rowing machine or something like, “Dude, I’ve been at the gym for like 2,345 days!” But for me, ten minutes was a feat!


Why did this really happen to me like on Day 2 of working out? LOL. from someecards

Today, I went to the gym. I let the girls sleep since they are swimming today at camp. Plus, I just needed some time to see what my body could really do without me having to constantly check over my shoulder to make sure that they weren’t doing handstands on the weight machines. Here’s what I learned: a) I am in terrible shape, but exercise isn’t impossible, b) Nobody is watching or cares about me at the gym, c) I produce way more sweat than should be allowed, and d) bring a towel tomorrow!




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4 thoughts on “Working Out

  1. Alice on said:

    I’m definitely impressed! I occasionally have thoughts of exercising, but I’ve found that if I sit down with a chocolate doughnut and an episode or two of “Handmaid’s Tale,” those urges go right away!

    P.S. Hi, Mary Funnye! How are you?

  2. Thanks for the support, Mary! I am going to do everything I can to keep this going. Send good workout vibes my way!

  3. Mary Funnye on said:

    Congratulations Marilyn !! Don’t give up you can do this.

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