Cobbler
“…it was brought to the two sisters, who did all they possibly could to force their foot into the slipper, but they did not succeed.” (“Cinderella” by Charles Perrault)
It has been nine months since I walked away from the principalship, but I still feel like a fish out of water. It must be showing. At least once a week someone asks me if I miss being a principal. I smile to myself recalling that no one asked me when I became an administrator if I missed being a teacher. No one assumed that regret would taint memory of that decision. That was a promotion after all. This move, on the other hand, defies reason and costs significant money. Surely, the unease results from remorse, right?
“Nope,” I respond with all sincerity. Stepping down has not only been one of the greatest acts of bravery of my life, but also a boon to my overall happiness levels. But I do wonder if this feeling of discomfort in this new role is the Holy Spirit’s way of preparing me for more stirring of the nest, for another test of my wings.
I think about Paul on the Damascus road. In Acts 26, when he gives his defense before Agrippa, Paul relates his conversion story in more detail than we saw earlier in Acts 9. Jesus says to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” Jesus’ statement implies that something had been bothering Paul about his oppression of Christians. He, like a stubborn ox, has been resisting the pricks and the prods of the Master. Perhaps, Paul heard the call of Christ in his heart before this and chose to ignore it. Perhaps, the evidence of Jesus as the Messiah was beginning to mount uncomfortably in his mind. Whatever the specifics, Paul continued on his course, until Jesus decides to knock him down and blind him.
I do not want God to have to move on me the way He did Paul!
I drag myself from the melancholy of my mind to self-reflection. You’re supposed to be uncomfortable. I chastise myself. You know this is not what God has for you. The stagnation and disturbance you feel in your spirit is a result your refusal to take charge of the change process. You are afraid because public education has been your career field for over 20 years. As much as you dislike the feeling you have, you are petrified of being faithful, so you continue to tether yourself to the familiar, to the perceived comforts. You expend all the energy you have on everything other than what God has revealed to you. You are trying to force a fit in shoes you have outgrown. Girl, you need to make some new shoes instead of waiting on someone to hand them to you.
I know the Holy Spirit speaks, not me. I decide that it is time to begin enacting the vision God gave me. God’s divine design for my life begins to take shape when I realize that the very things that have made me be impactful as a school leader are exactly what I need now with the passions God has given me:
- Narrow the focus and back-burnered other projects. They are exciting, but they cannot all have priority right now.
- Define how ultimate success looks. Get clear about exactly what you expect to accomplish.
- Establish a timeline. Create an ambitious but manageable deadline to encourage working with urgency and excellence.
- Backwards map milestones. Be ready to routinely track progress toward success.
- Inform and train others on the plan. Allow them to hold you accountable. Prevent harmful (even if well-meaning) intrusions. Have a plan for handling emergencies. They are urgent and will take precedent as needed.
- Physically add everything on a digital calendar. Schedule for passion projects, current career, and personal time.
- Fiercely guard time. Be present and accountable during scheduled commitments to self and others.
- Measure ideas, initiatives, and suggestions against the established plan. Table and discard as needed to keep the main thing central.
- Celebrate micro-achievements along the way. Be conscious of needed adjustments to maintain health, wellness, and joy as well as productivity.
I already know that this process works. I have made use of it, perfected it, over the years. All I need to do is trust God. I cannot be afraid to take possession of what He has already told me is mine. It is my turn to do my part. I have to start cobbling. He’ll do the rest!
Memos from the Middle 